DJ Mag Top 100 Results – An Alternative Analysis…

The usual amount of baffling entries and unknowns this year- this is my take on each DJ in a sentence or less;).

01. Armin van Buuren – Dutch trance DJ who sells out stadiums across the world.

02. Tiësto – Dutch trance DJ who sells out slightly larger stadiums across the world.

03. Paul van Dyk – Been living off records made years ago to boost his DJ profile.

04. Above & Beyond – Trance trio who are big in Europe and the US apparently.

05. David Guetta – Sub par producer and DJ whose singles all sound alike.

06. Ferry Corsten – Saw him once, Ronny Corbett would have been better entertainment that night, monologues and all.

07. Sasha – Great DJ but never really has cut it as a producer.

08. Markus Schulz – Interchangeable with the top four music wise.

09. John Digweed – See Sasha.

10. Infected Mushroom – Psy-Trance outfit from Israel, who seem to get the majority of the votes from their homeland.

11. Deadmau5 – Doesn’t classify himself as a DJ so naturally is high up in the list.

12. Carl Cox – One of the greats, in both attitude and skill.

13. Sander van Doorn – Tech-Trance DJ who is better known as a producer.

14. Paul Oakenfold – Can barely mix two records together anymore, must be spending too much time with Madonna.

15. Richie Hawtin – An embracer of technology as well as a very decent DJ.

16. Hernan Cattaneo – Seems to rank highly every year due to extensive gigging.

17. James Zabiela – Talented DJ and a great user of technology.

18. Andy Moor – Trance DJ who seems to rise in the poll year on year.

19. Eddie Halliwell – Tech-Trance DJ who scratches in his sets, Disco Wiz would be so proud.

20. Axwell – More known for his production skills than DJing.

21. Eric Prydz – Fears planes.

22. Kyau & Albert – Sound like two characters from an Eastern European version of Sesame Street.

23. Gareth Emery – Veteran DJ who warmed up for Paul Oakenfold in 1987 (probably).

24. Sven Väth – Only uses vinyl, good for him.

25. ATB – Had one hit in the UK, very big in Europe.

26. Anderson Noise – Brazilian techno producer and DJ who is big in Bolivia (probably).

27. Joachim Garraud – French techno producer and remixer.

28. Bobina – Russian DJ who clearly has spammed a few people.

29. Fedde le Grand – Producer turned DJ after a couple of hits.

30. Dubfire – Half of Deep Dish, reinvented himself lately as a techno producer.

31. Aly & Fila – Trance duo, big in Outer Mongolia (probably).

32. Judge Jules – More popular than Pete Tong despite his radio show being moved to stupid o’clock.

33. Umek – Four deck techno wizard.

34. Matt Darey – Trance producer so clearly ranks highly in the list.

35. Ricky Stone – DJ who takes the list very seriously, obviously sees spamming people as a easier way to climb the list than actual talent.

36. Ricardo Villalobos – Techno producer and DJ, very minimal.

37. Lange – Trance DJ who was big in 1998.

38. Daft Punk – Last DJed in 1999.

39. Benny Benassi – Still dining out on his one hit.

40. Bob Sinclair – House producer who hangs out with kids in his videos.

41. Deep Dish – Haven’t DJed regularly for a few years now.

42. Mark Knight – Heavy gigging house DJ.

43. Astrix – French cartoon character.

44. Marco V – Tech-Trance producer who probably feels he should be higher up the list.

45. The Thrillseekers – Trance outfit who were big with one hit in 1999.

46. Laidback Luke – Prolific house remixer and producer.

47. Danny Tenaglia – Semi-Godlike house DJ whose profile has dropped over the past few years.

48. Menno de Jong – Dutch trance DJ (probably).

49. Marco Lenzi – Italian DJ who now resides over here, clearly as good at spamming as he is at EU law.

50. Andy C – Drum and Bass DJ and production veteran.

51. Offer Nissim – Where more of Israel’s votes went.

52. Martin Solveig – House producer and DJ, big where its cold.

53. Adam Sheridan – House and Trance DJ from the UK, should be Dutch.

54. Sean Tyas – Swiss Trance DJ, should be Dutch.

55. DJ Feel – Russian DJ who spammed less people than Bobina.

56. Yahel – Where yet more Israeli votes went.

57. Roger Sanchez – Veteran house DJ who has the coolest voice of anyone ever.

58. DJ Shah – Jimmy Saville’s protege.

59. Sander Kleinenberg – Dutch DJ in house music shocker.

60. John O’Callaghan – Yet another trance DJ, this time from the UK.

61. Blank & Jones – German trance duo best know for a minor club hit about a decade ago.

62. Cosmic Gate – Best known for two words- FIRE and WIRE.

63. Steve Angello – Swedish House DJ, likes planes more than Eric “Mr T.” Prydz.

64. Simon Patterson – Tech-Trance DJ who sounds like a bank manager from Swindon.

65. Gabriel & Dresden – Trance duo from the US, not Holland.

66. Richard Durand – Sounds British, is actually Dutch, so he plays trance of course.

67. Laurent Wolf – French house producer who DJs on the first Wednesday of every month.

68. Matt Hardwick – Gatecrasher veteran who plays trance and therefore likes clogs and water (probably).

69. Chris Liebing – US techno DJ and producer.

70. Erick Morillo – DJ and producer who likes to move it to a large castle in Switzerland, such is his fee to play.

71. DJ Hype – Very talented drum and bass veteran.

72. Signum – Known for trance and hard house production, therefore are Dutch.

73. Justice – Part time DJs and Kanye West botherers.

74. Dirty South – Electro house producers and DJs from the UK.

75. Wally Lopez – Spanish house DJ and producer.

76. Magda – Female techno DJ from the US, so many unique traits there.

77. Lisa Lashes – Used to play hard house, now probably plays trance and resides in Holland.

78. Pete Tong – Doesn’t know how to spam properly on his radio show for the list.

79. DJ Vibe – House DJ from the US.

80. Bad Boy Bill – House DJ from the US who used to regularly spam his way to the higher reaches of the chart.

81. Tiddey – Sounds like the fifth Teletubbie, is in fact a Polish trance DJ with Dutch grandparents (probably).

82. Greg Downey – Trance DJ from the UK, emigrating to Holland soon though.

83. Marcel Woods – Self proclaimed multi genre DJ from Holland who therefore plays trance.

84. Nick Warren – House DJ who seems to been around since decks were invented in 1923.

85. Solar System – Where we all reside, therefore should have been able to spam themselves higher.

86. Skazi – Psy-Trance star from Israel or Holland, either one.

87. Mike Koglin – Trance DJ from the UK, secretly yearns to move to Holland though.

88. Mauro Picotto – Techno DJ who hangs out with lizards.

89. Sébastien Léger – French house producer and DJ.

90. The Chemical Brothers – Rarely do more than a few DJ dates a year, so are included in the list.

91. Steve Lawler – House DJ who was incredibly popular about decade ago and has slipped down the chart in recent years.

92. Fatboy Slim – Anything goes producer and DJ from the UK.  

93. Solarstone – Trance outfit from the UK who are big in Holland.

94. Astral Projection – Patrick Moore’s favourite trance troupe.

95. Leon Bolier – Sounds French but plays trance so is Dutch.

96. Nic Fanciulli – House DJ from the UK, suffers from not playing trance and not being Dutch. 

97. Ronski Speed – A made up drug from Munich.

98. Tocadisco – German house DJ and producer.

99. Booka Shade – German house outfit who occasionally DJ.

100. Alex M.O.R.P.H. & Woody van Eyden – At a guess I’d say they were Dutch and they played trance.

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One Response to “DJ Mag Top 100 Results – An Alternative Analysis…”

  1. Er where is DJ sammy and sash?

    Encore Une Fois!!!

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